All My Secrets
by ninjamuggle
Summary: Kurt's secrets come out when something bad happens to Blaine. What are the consequences? Will Kurt be able to handle it all?
1. Chapter 1

I was a part of a RP when I came up with this. I finally am turning it into a story. We'll see how this goes. I know it's short, but it'll get longer with time.

This has not been beta-ed

DISCLAMER: If you recognize it, I don't own it.

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><p>8 year old Kurt shot straight up in his bed drenched in cold sweat. The small boy curled up his legs to his chest and sat there. He had dreamed that his mom had died, and he just had to sit there and watch. A shudder ripped through as he thought about his mom's funeral. Kurt couldn't tell his dad about his dream. Burt was working hard to pay off the funeral, and keep food on the table. Kurt wasn't going to worry him.<p>

A couple months later, Kurt had had the dream a few more times, but he didn't ever tell his dad. Kurt allowed himself to have the dream over and over again for years to come. Then one night, when he was 11, Kurt woke up and began sobbing. His mom hadn't died, but his dad did. Kurt stifled his sobs and quickly went to his dad's room. Kurt quietly opened the door and peeked in. Burt was there, sound asleep and alive. Kurt quickly shut the door and ran back to his room.

Kurt lived with the dreams, and never told anyone about them. They came a few times a month, but he never told anyone. When Burt ended up in the hospital, the dreams became nightly for him. The dreams were always his dad dieing. They terrified Kurt. Finally Kurt had enough.

Kurt found himself sitting in his bathroom digging around for a razor. He needed to forget, numb the pain, take away the dreams, anything. The next thing Kurt knew, there was a cold razor in his hand poised over his wrist, ready to cut the flesh. Then Kurt quickly changed his mind. Kurt quickly kicked his pants off and then slid the razor a short distance over his hip. A hiss slipped between his teeth. The effect wasn't what Kurt wanted, but it helped, until he found what really helped. NyQuil. Kurt began taking NyQuil before bed every night. The NyQuil kept the dreams away, and soon Kurt never slept without the NyQuil, afraid of what would wait for him in his dreams.

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><p>Kurt sat behind his computer with iTunes open playing his music, Facebook open, and AIM open as well. Kurt was in the middle of a conversation with Blaine.<p>

blainefreakinganderson: what movie would you want to see?

daltonfashionista: Anything that doesn't have sex or gore.

blainefreakinganderson: *laughs* Okay. Hey Kurt… I have to go to the store to pick up some milk. BRB

daltonfashionista: Okay. I'll be here

Kurt sat singing along with Defying Gravity, and commenting on some new pictures Mercedes had posted. Kurt continued to comment on pictures when his computer made the noise for a new message.

blainefreakinganderson: This is Blaine's dad. Blaine was in a really bad car accident. They're taking him to Lima Memorial right now.

daltonfashionista: WHAT? I'll be there as quick as I can.

Kurt quickly posted this on facebook, and sent a text to Wes and David. Kurt quickly rushed out the door, jumped in his car and drove as fast as he could. Kurt didn't remember how he ended up in front of the hospital. Kurt quickly ran in to the desk.

"Blaine Anderson, where is he?" Kurt demanded. Kurt felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to find an older version of Blaine behind him.

"Are you Kurt? I'm Blaine's dad." The man introduced himself. Kurt just nodded. "Why don't you sit down. I'll tell you everything I know." Kurt sat in the closest chair, and Mr. Anderson sat next to him. "Blaine was in a car wreck. He has a minor concussion. He also messed up his knee, broke a couple ribs, and broke his wrist. They're getting him settled in a room right now. They need to watch him though, because one of the ribs punctured his lung, and the concussion."

Kurt let out a small sigh of relief. "So he's awake?" Kurt asked.

"No. They are going to keep him asleep for awhile to help him through the pain."

"Blaine Anderson's family?" Kurt stood along side Mr. Anderson. "We'll take you to his room." Kurt followed the nurse through the maze of hallways, until she stopped outside of a door. "This is it." She then turned on her heel and walked away. Kurt stood back as Mr. Anderson opened the door.

"Kurt, It's okay. You can come in." Mr. Anderson stood and waited for Kurt to enter the room before entering himself. Kurt gasped slightly at Blaine's appearance. His normally gelled curls were free and falling onto his bruised face slightly. Blaine had wires and monitors hooked up to him, and an oxygen mask on. Kurt carefully slid into the chair next to Blaine's bed. Kurt barely heard Blaine's dad slip out of the room as he took Blaine's hand. Kurt spent the whole night humming and singing to Blaine's sleeping form.

In the morning, Burt appeared at the hospital. "Kurt, come on. His dad said he's going to sleep a few more hours. Come home, get a good meal, a shower, and some sleep, and then you can come back." Kurt nodded reluctantly and followed his dad out of the hospital. Once home Kurt quickly fell asleep on his bed after taking a bit of NyQuil.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter 2. :) I hope you enjoy it. **

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><p>A couple hours later, Kurt found himself entering Blaine's room. Kurt had just seen his dad, and told him that he could go home for a while. So Kurt entered alone. Not too long after he sat down, Blaine's hand twitched in his own.<p>

"Blaine? Can you hear me?" Kurt moved even closer to the bed as a pair of hazel eyes fluttered open.

"Kurt?" Blaine whispered in a rough voice.

"Hey there. You scared me." Kurt smiled slightly at Blaine.

"I'm sorry. Ungh… I feel horrible." Blaine whispered. Kurt reached up and moved some of the curls off of Blaine's face. Blaine smiled just a bit. "Have you been here the whole time?" Kurt shook his head.

"My dad made me go home for awhile."

"Good. You'll need to go home every once and a while." Kurt frowned a little bit.

"What if I refuse to go home?"

"I'm not going to do this with you Kurt." Blaine sighed and closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry Blaine. I'm just afraid of what might happen." Kurt glance around the room with a haunted look in his eyes. "I really don't like hospitals."

Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand gently. "I understand if you can't handle being here. After your mom, and your dad's heart attack…" Blaine trailed off.

Kurt shook his head. "I'm not going to leave you." Kurt yawned slightly.

"Why don't you take a nap babe?" Blaine offered. Kurt nodded sleepily.

"I'm going to do that." Kurt closed his eyes and let sleep take over him without any NyQuil for the first time in a long time.

_Kurt was sitting next to Blaine's bed watching him sleep, and the heart monitor was beeping steadily in the background. After a couple of minutes the heart monitor started to slow until it flat lined. Kurt let out a scream._

Kurt yelped slightly as he woke up. Blaine opened his eyes, waking up from a nap of his own. "Kurt? Are you okay?" Kurt's response was to start sobbing. "Come here." Blaine slid over in the bed to make room for Kurt. Kurt slid on to the bed and allowed Blaine to slide his arms around him.

"I-I had a-a nightmare." Kurt choked out between sobs. Blaine stroked Kurt's hair as Kurt began to speak again. "You-you died."

"Kurt, you know I'm not going to die right? You can't rid of me. I haven't taken you on a proper date yet." Kurt choked out an empty laugh.

"It-it just seemed so-so _real._" Kurt let out another sob. Blaine place a kiss on Kurt's forehead.

"I'll never leave you Kurt. No matter what." Kurt buried his face in Blaine's shoulder.

"Even if I told you that this isn't the first nightmare like this?" Blaine's jaw dropped slightly.

"Kurt, you've had dreams like this before?" Kurt nodded into Blaine's shoulder.

"Since I was eight. It used to only be about my mom dieing, but then after a couple of years my dad started dieing too." Blaine stifled a gasp.

"Kurt, why didn't you tell anyone?"

"I didn't want anyone to worry. I have them under control now." Kurt felt his mask of everything being okay slipping back into place.

"Yes Kurt. That was totally under control." Blaine said sarcastically.

"It's only because I don't have any NyQuil here." Blaine let out a little gasp.

"NyQuil? How often do you take the NyQuil Kurt? And don't you dare try to lie."

Kurt dropped his gaze. "Every time I go to sleep." He muttered.

"Kurt, that's not safe. Or healthy for that matter. What's wrong with you?"

"IT'S WHAT TAKES THE DAMN NIGHTMARES AWAY." Kurt yelled. He spoke again much quieter. "It wasn't the first thing I tried either." Kurt slid his shirt up high enough to reveal the bright white scars on his hips.

"Kurt…" Blaine whispered brokenly. "This… This isn't you." Blaine traced a couple scars with a finger.

"I.. I had to try something Blaine. I couldn't do it anymore. I only cut for a few days, then I found the NyQuil. I haven't cut since." Blaine placed a kiss in Kurt's hair. Kurt began to shake.

"Shh. I have you. It's okay." Blaine sat there holding Kurt in silence until Kurt slid off the bed.

"My dad wants me at home. I'll be back tomorrow okay?" Kurt moved closer to the door.

"That's fine babe. I'll see you then." Blaine sighed as the door shut, and he was left alone.


End file.
